One of the biggest questions we get asked as wedding planners is about invitation wording. What is the etiquette? Whose name goes first? Both of our parents are hosting the wedding, how do we word it? What information should be added into the invitation? What information should we omit? How do we handle inviting only certain people to a Welcome Reception? And the list goes on… We have written this blog post to help answer some of those questions.
Below we have written out some examples for each type of scenario for who is “hosting” the wedding. When we say hosting, we are meaning who is paying for the wedding. In the “old” days of planning a wedding, the bride’s family was mostly responsible to pay for the entire wedding. The groom’s family would often host the rehearsal dinner. These days, we often find the wedding being split by both families. Often a 50/50 split, or maybe a 60/40 split between families. Or even the couple is paying for their own wedding. But whoever is paying for your wedding, it is always important to know proper etiquette for your wedding invitations.
Photo by Corinne Alexandra
First things first, whose name goes first:
Traditionally, the bride always precedes the groom. For a formal invite, we would always suggest the bride to be referred to by her first and middle names. The groom is referred by his full name and title (optional).
Next, what is written on the invite?
- The host (who is hosting)
- The invite (request your presence, invite you to share, …)
- Wedding date and time
- Venue(s) and address(es)
- Reception following (or if there is a gap, say “Reception to begin at ___ time”)
- Optional: dress code
That’s it.
Do not put your RSVP information on the invite. Do not add your registry on the invite. Make separate insert cards for these. We will discuss these below.
What’s the best way to write out the time:
- Time should always be spelled out.
- The time should never be capitalized.
- If the time is on the hour, it should be followed by “o’clock”
- Do not use “o’clock” if the time is not on the hour. (e.g. six-thirty in the evening)
- Time, not on the hour, should be hyphenated (see above)
- Time should always be followed by “in the morning”, “noon”, “in the afternoon”, “in the evening”, or “midnight”
Now, most importantly, here are some general examples for (most) case scenarios:
Both parents hosting wedding (two examples):
&
Mr. and Mrs. Alex and Emma Pierson
at the marriage of their children
and
Alexander Daniel
two thousand eighteen
at four o’clock in the afternoon
17550 Bernardo Oaks Dr
San Diego, CA 92128
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
to
Alexander Daniel
six o’clock in the evening
Bride OR Groom’s parent’s hosting wedding:
Divorced parent’s hosting (any situation):
at their marriage
Divorced Parent’s hosting (parent’s remarried):
and
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Divorced Parent’s Hosting (neither parent remarried):
John Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Samantha Rose
to
Alexander Daniel Pierson
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Alex Pierson
Bride and Groom hosting (traditional):
is requested at the marriage of
Miss Samantha Rose
and
Mr. Alex Daniel Pierson
on Saturday, the eighth of September, 2018
Bride and Groom hosting (contemporary):
Samantha Rose Smith
and
Alex Daniel Pierson
invite you to share in the joy
and celebration of their marriage
on Saturday, the eighth of September, 2018
at six o’clock in the evening
Next, your insert cards:
Your RSVP or “Response Card” should read:
July 20th, 2018 (remember 6 weeks prior to your wedding is ideal, but 4-8 is common)
__chicken __fish __vegetarian
Other Inserts:




Photo by Katie Bevereley
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